


Tightropes and Etched Skin

by MoonFlower97



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:02:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23362156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonFlower97/pseuds/MoonFlower97
Summary: When Jongdae is forced to run away from home, change his name to "Chen" and join the circus, the last thing he's thinking about is his name on his soulmate's skin. Soon after joining, he develops a crush on circus' main acrobat "Xiumin". Too bad - Jongdae thinks - that the name on his hip clearly says "Minseok"
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62
Collections: SnowSpark Fest Round One





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Snow Spark Prompt No: 230
> 
> This is my submission for the Snow Spark fic fest! The story is based in the 1920s with brief mentions of abuse and poverty. This was such an interesting prompt that I was so excited to write! Thank you to all those who are reading my story and I hope I made a satisfactory story for my prompter!
> 
> \--  
> Prelude:
> 
> “Do you think you’ll find your soulmate?” The little boy asked his friend as they played in front of their apartment buildings.
> 
> “Of course I will. I won’t be with anyone but them.” The other boys smiled widely as he skipped down the sidewalk.
> 
> “How are you so sure you’ll find them? My mom said it’s no use trying to find my soulmate.” The first boy complained as he tossed the stone for his turn.
> 
> “Well I'm going to find mine. I know I will.” The little boy stuck his tongue out in determination.
> 
> The idea of a soulmate was like a fairytale. Everyone had one but rarely anyone found theirs. The world was vast, and people were more focused on living their day to day lives over finding a useless love.
> 
> Everyone knew the history of soulmates; it was something learned from a young age. When a person hits puberty somewhere on their body a name appears. The name of their soulmate. A person’s soulmate could be anyone in the whole world this is why most people never find them.
> 
> It was rare for a person to just stumble across their soulmate in their daily lives, so people rarely even looked anymore and just married who they wanted. This didn’t always work as some people met their soulmates later in life and ran away with them. Others decided to get tattoos to cover up the names, vowing never to look for or think about their soulmates in their life.
> 
> It is said that when you meet your soulmate something changes within you; your body and mind connect to your soulmate like no one else. A type of love that could only be imagined for many. 
> 
> \--

“You ungrateful piece of shit” Jongdae ducked as the book hit the wall behind him. Jongdae ran down the stairs before his mother had another chance to throw something at him.

Jongdae dashed out onto the street and signed in relief when he saw no one was following him.

“What are you up to today Jongdae?” Jongdae whipped his head when he heard his name.

“Hey Lay. Nothing yet. Gonna see if I can scrounge up any food. Nothing left at home.” Jongdae shrugged as he walked towards the main road where there were food stalls set up everywhere.

“Mom getting angry again.” Lay motioned at the dark bruises on Jongdaes arms.

“Oh its nothing. Same thing different day.” Jongdae followed his nose around the various food carts trying to find a good target.

“Its not nothing. You don’t need to put up with that.” Lay raced after Jongdae as he moves swiftly between the crowds of people.

“I know and I'm not. I'm getting out of here.” Jongdae noticed the fruit stand he was next to was busy and when the owner turned away to help someone Jongdae snatched two apples and put them in his pockets.

“Here.” Jongdae passed one to Lay as they continued walking.

“What do you mean you’re getting out?” Lay questioned as he took a bite of his apple.

“I can’t live here anymore. My parents are right. I am an ungrateful person. I'm almost 20, I have no job, I provide nothing for my family, and I'm just wasting space.” Jongdae sighed as he tossed his apple core into the street.

“You know that isn’t true right. You’re not a waste of space.” Lay looked at his friend sadly.

“it’s okay. I'm used to it. Don’t feel bad. I know there is much more than this neighborhood, than this life. I want to see more. Maybe even find my soulmate.” Jongdae smiled brightly.

“Oh don’t start with the soulmate crap again. You know no one ever finds their soulmates.” Lay rolled his eyes.

“I will.” Jongdae smiled again as Lay just shook his head, reminding him of the dumb conversations they had as children.

\--

“And where have you been all day? Not at a job, not bringing any food home. So nothing helpful.” Jongdaes mother scoffed when her oldest son walked in.

Jongdae rolled his eyes before walking towards his bedroom.

“Hey! Your mother was talking to you.” Jongdaes father slammed Jongdae against the wall his breath smelling of booze as he yelled into his face.

Jongdae pushed his father away angrily before running into his room.

Jongdae grabbed the bag he’s had set in the back of his closet for months before sneaking out of his window and down the fire escape. He could hear his parents yelling after him, but he didn’t care anymore. He was getting out of there.

Jongdae grabbed the note he had written many times before and when he found his best friends window, he slipped the note through the crack so he knew Lay would see it when he woke up.

_I'm off to find my other half. Wish me luck!_

_\- Jongdae_

Jongdae smiled as he slid down the fire escape adjusting his bag over his shoulder before heading down the dark road. Off to start his new life somewhere he was wanted.

\--

Jongdae adjusted his bag under his head as he laid behind a brick building. Luckily it was a warm night and Jongdae rested his eyes as he began thinking of what his next move should be.

Jongdaes fingers grazed the name etched on his hip, a name he has memorized since the first day it appeared on his skin. He didn’t care where he ended up after this, only that he finds the owner of that name.

“Minseok.” Jongdae whispered as he fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Jongdae wondered the streets for days. He stole food when he needed, slept when he could, but he just kept walking. He stopped by every store he could asking about work, but no one was hiring. It was tough times, and everyone only had enough for themselves.

Jongdae was so close to giving up when he heard it. The sound of cheers. Jongdae looked around and noticed a large red and white tent. Large enough to fit hundreds of people. The circus.

Jongdae had never seen the circus. He had only heard the stories. Clowns, acrobats, exotic animals, like nothing he could ever imagine.

Jongdaes curiosity got the best of him as he followed the sound of the cheers.

“Hey. Boy. Can you lend me a hand.” A man yelled out to Jongdae just as he was reaching the entrance. He was trying to carry several large ropes in his arms, and he was struggling.

“Sure. Here.” Jongdae grabbed some of the rope from the man’s arm and followed after him into the large tent.

Jongdae froze when he entered the tent. There were hundreds of people in the stands from children to grandparents all smiles and laughs as they watched whatever was happening in the middle.

“This way.” The man had to yell over the crowds cheers and Jongdae snapped out of his trance as he followed the man behind the bleachers and behind a curtain leading to the back of the circus.

“You look like you’ve never seen a circus before.” The man laughed as he set the ropes down and took the others from Jongdaes arms. The noise level decreased as they entered the back room and Jongdae looked around at all the other performers getting ready for their performances.

“That’s because I haven’t.” Jongdae almost whispered as he tried to peek out behind the curtain.

“Who hasn’t been to a circus?” The man laughed but when he saw the look on Jongdaes face he quieted. “Well why don’t you watch the rest of the show? There’s only a few acts left but I’m sure you would enjoy it.”

“Can I really? Are you sure?” Jongdaes eyes brightened in excitement.

“Of course. Consider it payback for helping me.” The man smiled. “I’ll show you the best seat in the house.” The man motioned for Jongdae to follow him.

Jongdae followed the man as they travelled up a ladder that led to some rafters. When they got to the top there were a few other boys sitting on the rafters cheering along with the show. Jongdae sat next to them and watched as they cheered before he turned to the show.

It was an acrobatic display and it was nothing like Jongdae had ever seen. There were several people standing on top of these high poles wearing sparkly costumes. Jongdae watched as one of them jumped onto a bar and began swinging in the air.

Jongdae held his breath as he watched them swing through the air. He didn’t understand how someone could just fly in the air like that. Before he could comprehend what he just saw another one was swinging from another bar.

Jongdae watched as they picked up speed before the first one let go of the bar. Jongdae gasped in shock but the man grabbed onto the ankles of the other acrobat with ease and Jongdae felt himself relax. He then watched another acrobat jump onto the first bar but this time holding onto the bar with his legs.

Jongdae watched in amazement as the acrobats continued to fly through the air one throwing the other in the air only to be caught by another. Jongdae was memorized by the display before him, he didn’t think he could have imagined anything so remarkable.

Jongdae watched as a new group of acrobats began walking across a tightrope in the air. Some carried a large pole; others were juggling balls or pins and Jongdae had no idea how they could have such great balance.

Jongdaes eye suddenly caught onto one of the acrobats who wasn’t carrying anything with him. He just started walking down the rope as if it was solid ground. Jongdae was mesmerized by his aura and he couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

Suddenly the man fell from Jongdaes view and Jongdae let out a silent gasp as he watched the man fall towards the earth but in a second he was caught by the hands of another acrobat swinging from the bars below and tossed to another who caught him by his feet.

Jongdaes heart rate picked up as he watched the man swing towards him and he could finally see the man’s face clearer. He wore a bright smile as he looked out at the crowd basking in the shocked cheers and applause. His eyes were bright and mysterious and Jongdae couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

Jongdae watched the rest of the show but he wasn’t paying attention anymore, his mind was only on that acrobat.

When the show was over Jongdae watched as the crowds emptied out of the tent and the workers began cleaning up.

“How did you like the show.” The man that had led Jongdae up asked him.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. How do they do that?” Jongdae asked in wonder.

“I don’t try to understand it. I just get payed to make sure it goes smoothly.” The man laughed as he and Jongdae started to climb down off the rafters.

“How can I do that?” Jongdae asked excitedly.

“Become an acrobat? That takes years of training boy. No way you could do it now.” The man laughed at Jongdae.

“No not that. Work the circus. Do what you do. I'm looking for a job and I could be really useful here.” Jongdae began pleading with the man.

“So you’re looking for a job? What about your family? The circus travels all year, we never stay in one place more than a couple of nights. Wont they miss you?” The man paused as he began considering Jongdaes proposal.

“I don’t have a family. This is the perfect job for me. I’ve always wanted to travel.” Jongdae smiled in excitement.

“Well we are losing hands as we travel south. Let me talk to the director. Come with me.” The man waved Jongdae after him.

Jongdae and the man walked through the circus tent as Jongdae watched all the people rushing around to get the circus taken down.

“What are they doing.” Jongdae watched everyone moving around so quickly.

“We are packing up. We have to move onto the next town by tomorrow. The circus never stops moving.” The man laughed as they finally entered the directors area.

“Hey Siwon. You got a minute.” The man addressed the director.

“Only a minute. We got to be on the train by the morning.” The director, Siwon, paused as he looked up. “What is it Kyuhyun?”

“I was actually wondering if we could hire another hand. This boy here is looking for a job. He’s young and strong. We could sure use him.” The man who Jongdae now knows as Kyuhyun replied.

“What’s your name boy?” Siwon looked Jongdae up and down.

Jongdae began thinking if he should give them his real name. He was trying to start over and what better way to start over than with a new name. “Chen, sir.”

“Chen. Do you know anything about the circus?” The man raised his eyebrow in question.

“No sir, but like Kyuhyun said I am strong and willing to learn. I have no family so I can travel easily. This is actually my first time ever seeing the circus. I would love to see more.” Jongdae spoke quickly.

Siwon laughed loudly at Jongdae.

“Well we do need the help. Can you start tonight? The pay isn’t that good, only about 10 cents a day, but you get room and board and meals with us. Is that okay?” Siwon asked attentively.

“As long as I can get out of this town I don’t care about the pay.” Jongdae smiled as he realized what he was being told.

“Okay. Then get to work right away.” Siwon smiled as he dismissed the two men.

“Well are you ready to work? We got to get things ready quickly. Is that the only bag you have?” Kyuhyun glanced at the bag Jongdae had over his shoulder.

“Yeah.” Jongdae adjusted his bag on his shoulder.

“’Well I’ll throw it with my stuff for now. We got to start taking down these poles and then the tent, it will take all of us to get it wrapped up right.” Kyuhyun took Jongdaes bag and left before coming back.

Jongdae knew that taking down the circus tent was going to be hard work, but he had no idea it would be so fun. It had been a long time since he had felt so accomplished. The sweat he felt from lifting things, the ache in his muscles from working hard. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time and he finally felt like he had a purpose.

When they had finally got everything into the train carts Jongdae laughed in excitement. After they had finished everyone who was involved in the circus lined up at these large cooking pots and everyone got in line for a bowl of soup and some bread. It was the first hot meal Jongdae had had in almost a week and it felt so good to eat.

Jongdae sat with the other circus hands and was introduced to many of them such as Eunhyuk and Donghae who were best friends and joined the circus several towns before Jongdae. There was also Leeteuk and Heechul who were the oldest and had worked the circus the longest, almost 5 years now. There was also Ryeowook and Yesung and Shindong who joined with Kyuhyun almost a year ago. They were all quite a bit older than Jongdae but they were all super friendly and welcoming to Jongdae.

Jongdae went to put his bowl back with the dishes and grab his stuff as he headed to where Kyuhyun told him the circus hands slept.

Jongdae swung his bag over his shoulder not realizing there was anyone around him until he felt his bag hit something solid.

“Ow.” A voice yelled out behind him.

“What? Oh sorry!” Jongdae whipped around and noticed the acrobat he had seen earlier staring back at him.

“Oh don’t worry about it. I should have been looking where I was going.” The acrobat laughed as he rubbed his shoulder and Jongdae froze in shock as he stared at the beautiful man before him. “Say. I haven’t seen you before. Are you new?” The acrobat smiled brightly at Jongdae.

“Oh, yeah. My name is J-Chen. Chen.” Jongdae rubbed his neck nervously. “I actually just started today. I saw you performing earlier. You were really good.” Jongdae blushed as he complimented the acrobat.

“Chen? Well thank you for the compliment Chen. My name is Xiumin.” The acrobat smiled again. Just then Jongdae heard someone call out for Xiumin as the other waved at his friend.

“Well I look forward to working with you Chen. I’ll see you around.” Xiumin smiled as he waved goodbye to Jongdae.

Jongdae stood frozen in his spot as he replayed his interaction with Xiumin. Never had he seen anyone so beautiful, so talented, and he was completely smitten with the acrobat.

That night Jongdae couldn’t stop thinking about the acrobat with the beautiful eyes. He had never felt so drawn to a person in his life, it was as if they had an instant connection, almost like a soulmate. Too bad, Jongdae thought, that the name on his hip read Minseok.


	3. Chapter 3

Jongdae didn’t know he could enjoy his life so much. It had been almost a week since he started working with the circus and each day was a new adventure. While the work was hard the friends, shows, and work he gained made up for it.

“Chen. Can I get a hand here?” Ryeowook motioned Jongdae over to help him set up the acrobat poles.

Jongdae held the base of the pole as Ryeowook and Yesung pulled on a rope that lifted the large pole into the air. Jongdae was still amazed at how high the pole got and he had no idea how Xiumin and the other acrobats could stay up there so well.

“That looks great.” Jongdae jumped when he heard Xiumin speak up behind him. “You know, for a kid of the streets you really are skittish” Xiumin laughed as he helped Jongdae hold up the pole as the others secured it.

“No I was just lost in thought.” Jongdae smiled as he watched Xiumin hold up the pole.

“Well what are you thinking about. If you don’t mind me asking.” Xiumin smiled at Jongdae.

“How you do it.” Jongdae froze when the words slipped out of his mouth, a blush rushing to his cheeks. “I-I mean how your able to do this. Fly through the air. It’s nothing like I’ve ever seen before.”

“Well I would hope it’s nothing you’ve seen before otherwise I have to rethink our whole routine.” Xiumin chuckled as they finished putting up the other poles.

“Well how has your time been here so far? They aren’t treating you too badly are they?” Xiumin glanced over at Ryeowook and Yesung who were playing tug of war trying to untangle a large rope.

“Of course they are. They’re a little dumb but good. This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” Jongdae sighed in happiness.

“Well I'm glad to hear that. I have to go get warmed up for the show but why don’t we hang out afterwards? I’d like to get to know you more.” Xiumin smiled before he met up with some of the other acrobats.

“Y-yeah.” Jongdae waved after the acrobat before he placed his hand on his chest trying to ease his racing heart.

-

Jongdae watched the same show for the last week but every time he saw Xiumin perform he was completely enthralled. Awed at the way Xiumin had complete control over his body. His movements telling a story.

When the show had finished Jongdae jumped down from rafters and got to work taking everything down.

When everything had finally been done Jongdae lined up with the rest of the crew to get their evening meal. Jongdae thought he was actually gaining weight with how much he was being fed and he was okay with that.

“Hey Chen. Still up for having dinner with me?” Xiumin popped up beside Jongdae his bowl of food already in his hands. His hair was wet from the shower he probably just had and with his wet bangs over his face Jongdae thought he looked even younger than he probably was.

“U-uh yeah. Let me get my food. I’ll be right there.” Xiumin smiled at Jongdae before walking out of the food tent.

Jongdae grabbed his food and raced after the other exiting the tent to an empty road.

“Over here Chen.” Xiumin called from the end of the road.

Jongdae couldn’t help his racing heart as he walked closer to Xiumin.

“Sorry it always gets so loud in there. I like to look for the quietest places after a show. Let’s me unwind.” Xiumin smiled as he walked Jongdae down towards an empty pier near where the circus was being held.

“Have you ever seen the ocean before Chen?” Xiumin sat on the dock before patting the space beside him.

“No. I’ve never even been outside my city. This is the most I’ve traveled in my life.” Jongdae commented before sitting next to Xiumin.

They ate in silence for a while taking in the crisp ocean air while their soup warmed them both up.

“So why did you decide to join the circus?” Xiumin asked after they both had finished.

“It’s kind of embarrassing. I don’t know if I should say.” Jongdae blushed as he thought, the reason he begged to get a job with the circus sitting right beside him.

“It can’t be that bad. How about I tell you why I joined the circus?” Xiumin offered when he saw Jongdae wasn’t going to answer so easily.

“S-sure.” Jongdae answered quickly just as curious about Xiumins backstory as well. Xiumin laughed before he delved into his story.

“Well I am the youngest child in my family. I’ve been in the circus since I was 15 but I have been doing small performances since my childhood. I’ve always loved performing so when the circus came to town it was the perfect opportunity for me to get a bigger audience. I trained with the acrobats who were here before and now at the ripe old age of 21 I’ve become the star acrobat.” Xiumin laughed as he remembered his past. “Okay now it’s your turn.” Xiumin smiled as he turned to Jongdae.

“Well I don’t have much of a story. I'm actually the oldest child in my family. My parents could care less where I am as I was just a burden to them. I actually ran away about a week before I joined the circus because I couldn’t take living with them anymore.” Jongdae shrugged as he talked about his past. It had been awhile since he had even though about his family.

“You didn’t really answer my question though.” Xiumin laughed. “Why would you join the circus? There are many other things you could have done instead and that doesn’t sound embarrassing.” Xiumin tilted his head in curiosity.

Jongdae let out a loud sigh. “Well actually I have a reason for running away. I know it sounds dumb, but I wanted to find my soulmate.” Jongdae paused as he looked at Xiumin but the other just smiled back at him. “I figured joining the circus would allow me to travel and give me a better chance to find them. I know that sounds stupid. No one ever finds their soulmate.” Jongdae laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“I don’t think that’s stupid! I’ve never met anyone who has sought out their soulmate. I think that’s incredibly sweet.” Xiumin smiled genuinely. “I wish I had that kind of determination.”

“Yeah well growing up in the neighborhood I did with the family I did I needed something to keep me going. I decided I had to go after it myself then, and that’s why I joined the circus.” Jongdae finished as he closed his eyes letting the cool ocean breeze hit his face.

“Well I'm glad you did.” Xiumin finished making Jongdae blush.

Jongdae and Xiumin chatted for another hour talking about anything and everything they could. Jongdae had never had such a close connection so quickly with anyone before. It was almost midnight when they finally headed back to the camp and realized everyone was already asleep, so they headed their separate ways to prepare for their next trip in the morning.

-

For the next couple of weeks Jongdae and Xiumin had the same schedule. During the day they would do their jobs for the circus but at night they would wonder around the town they were in chatting about anything. Jongdae didn’t think he could have made a friend so quickly.

One night when they had a long weekend in a town Xiumin offered to teach Jongdae some basic acrobatics.

“I-I don’t know about this. There is no way I could even get up those poles.” Jongdae hesitated at Xiumins suggestion.

“You won’t be going up the poles. We have a practice tightrope only a few feet off the ground. I will be there the whole time. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.” Xiumin winked as he led Jongdae to the center of the big tent. Jongdae blushed as he followed after the other.

Xiumin had been right. The practice tightrope was just a few feet off the ground and there was even some ropes above the tightrope that a person could hold on to.

“Okay. We are just going to practice some walking first. It’s pretty easy. Come on.” Xiumin hopped on the rope like it was nothing standing with ease as he reached down to help Jongdae up.

“Woah!” Jongdae instantly began wobbling as he stepped onto the thick wire. Xiumin put his hands on Jongdaes hips and helped steady him.

“Okay. You have to focus on your body. Think of where your center of gravity is, your arms are, where your feet are. They all have to be in sync with each other.”

Xiumin started walking backwards pulling Jongdae by his hips with him. The first couple of steps were shaky as Jongdae tried to get the feel for the wire beneath his feet. Soon Jongdae began holding his arms out at his sides as his steps became surer.

“There you go. Just feel the rope.” Xiumin laughed as he watched Jongdae. “Okay I’m going to let go now. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Xiumin slowly removed his hands from Jongdaes hips as the other continued to take tentative steps. “There you go. You got it.” Xiumin continued to walk further away.

Jongdae started to walk faster but as he sped up his steps got sloppier and he fell forward gasping as he felt himself falling in the air.

“Woah.” Xiumin dash forward and caught Jongdae before he could really fall holding the other in his arms tightly. “Don’t get too excited.” Jongdae blushed as he held onto Xiumins chest before straightening himself up.

“S-sorry. I got to carried away.” Jongdae cleared his throat as Xiumin held onto his hips again.

“It’s okay. It is exciting right?” Xiumin laughed. “Why do you think I love doing this”

Before Jongdae could reply there was a call from the curtain.

“Xiumin. We have to get things ready for the show tomorrow. Come help.” One of the other acrobats called over to Xiumin.

“I guess our lesson is over for the day. Here.” Xiumin helped lower Jongdae down to the ground before he jumped down himself.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Chen.” Xiumin waved goodbye to the other as he disappeared behind the tent curtain as Jongdae stared in awe at the other.


	4. Chapter 4

Jongdae had lost how long It had been since he left home. The seasons were changing, and it was becoming warmer each day. Each day also brought a new adventure, a new town, a new night to explore with Xiumin. Jongdae hadn’t realized when it happened but in the weeks he had spent with Xiumin he was slowly falling in love with the acrobat.

“Hey Xiumin. We have a long weekend in this town. Do you want to do something this weekend?” Jongdae commented as he munched on their dinner for the night.

“Sure. Did you have something in mind?” Xiumin hummed in approval.

“Well I’ve been saving up my salary. Why don’t we go see a movie?” Jongdae blushed as he suggested their weekend date.

“Really? A movie?” Xiumins eyes light up in excitement.

“Um. Yeah. To be honest I’ve never been to the movies before. But I have the time and the money now, so I thought why not? Is that okay with you?” Jongdae hesitated, thinking he embarrassed himself.

“Of course that is okay with me. I’ve only gone to the movies once before and I would love to go again.” Xiumin beamed.

“Okay. Then it’s a date.” Jongdae paused at the mention of date hoping he wasn’t scaring Xiumin off but when he looked at the acrobat, he was only smiling brightly back at him.

“It’s a date.” Xiumin confirmed.

-

Jongdae didn’t know how he got through the next day, his mind so preoccupied with his date later with Xiumin that he just breezed through his work and the show. After he had gotten the work all done for the night Jongdae pulled Xiumin aside before the acrobat had a chance to change from his costume.

“Hey. I was thinking why we don’t grab some food tonight as well. Get a break from the same soup we have every night.” Jongdae nodded to the line already forming by the food tent.

“Sure.” Xiumin smiled brightly. “Let me just go get changed.” Xiumin finished before disappearing to the acrobats tent.

-

“Ready to go?” Jongdae jumped when he heard Xiumin behind him.

“Yeah. I'm ready-“Jongdaes words got stuck in his throat as he took in Xiumins attire. Xiumin was wearing long black slacks with a black button up t-shirt tucked into them. His short hair was swept up revealing his forehead and he was wearing small black cuffs around his wrists similar looking as the ones he wears for his acrobat costume.

“ready.” Jongdae finished. Jongdae was only wearing the cleanest shirt and pants he could find in his stuff. 

“What?” Xiumin laughed as Jongdae continued to stare at him. “Am I too dressed up?” Xiumin looked down at his own outfit.

“No not at all. I’ve just never seen you out of your costume before.” Jongdae shook his head clear knowing he had been staring for too long.

“Well should we head out? I'm starving.” Xiumin laughed as he pulled Jongdae towards the main road.

Jongdae and Xiumin stopped by a small café just off the main road and got a hot sandwich and a pastry as they sat next to the café window waiting for their coffees.

“So I’ve never asked you this but I'm super curious. What are those for?” Jongdae pointed at the black cuffs Xiumin was wearing around his wrists.

Xiumin looked at where Jongdae was pointing but when he saw what he was talking about he blushed in embarrassment.

“Oh. These.” Xiumin cleared his throat.

“Oh. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. You don’t need to tell me.” Jongdae cursed himself for embarrassing Xiumin.

“No its okay. I can tell you. It just isn’t something I talk about.” Xiumin took a sip of his coffee before he looked at Jongdae.

“This is just where my soulmates name is.” Xiumin held his left wrist as if trying hide the name even more. “Unlike you I never hoped to find my soulmate and since the name is in such public place, I decided to just cover it up. It works really well for my job and I'm in my costume most days anyways, so it doesn’t really matter.” Xiumin shrugged before taking another bite of his food.

“Why don’t you just get a tattoo? Cover it up?” Jongdae asked genuinely curious.

“I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want to stop seeing the name. I may never find them, but they are my soulmate you know? I know that sounds stupid.” Xiumin shook his head bashfully.

“It’s not stupid. I know what you mean.” Jongdae comforted Xiumin while Xiumin smiled back at him thankfully.

“Well we should get going before we miss the movie. We need to make sure we get good seats.” Xiumin stood up as he held his hand out for Jongdae to take.

When they got to the movie theater the theater was practically empty but Jongdae didn’t care, that just meant more alone time with Xiumin. When the movie started Jongdae couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. He had heard about moving pictures before but to see it was completely different.

Jongdaes focus only broke when he felt Xiumins head rest on his shoulder. He glanced at the acrobat who was also as invested in the story on the screen. Jongdae smiled as he threaded his fingers with Xiumins and rested his own head on the other.

When the movie was over Jongdae couldn’t stop talking about everything he saw. He was so mesmerized he wanted to go back and see it again.

“I'm guessing you enjoyed it?” Xiumin laughed as he watched Jongdae continue on.

“It was amazing! I never thought I would see anything like it.” Jongdae smiled.

“Well I’m glad you liked it. So did I.” Xiumin smiled as he grabbed Jongdaes hand threading their fingers together like they had when they watched the movie. Jongdae blushed as their hands touched his voice finally shutting off.

“You don’t need to be nervous.” Xiumin teased as they continued to walk down the street.

Jongdae chuckled nervously trying to keep his mind off their touching skin as he felt his heart rate pick up.

As they neared the street to turn back to the circus it seemed that neither of them wanted to head back just yet, so they didn’t. Without even saying a word to the other they just continued down the street starting to talking as they walked.

Jongdae hadn’t realized it but they had walked pretty far from where their circus was.

“Um. It’s getting pretty late. Do you think we should head back?” Xiumin asked as if reading Jongdaes mind.

“Yeah. We can.” Jongdae smiled as they turned around to head back. They hadn’t walked too much longer before Jongdae felt a raindrop hit his cheek.

“Did you feel rain?” Jongdae held his hand out and saw a few more drops hit his hand.

“Oh no.” Xiumin looked up at the sky and before they could say another word it began to downpour on them.

“Hurry.” Xiumin yanked on Jongdaes hand as they rushed down the road as fast as they could.

They had barely made it a block before they were completely soaked. Xiumin dragged Jongdae another couple of blocks before Jongdae couldn’t breathe from running.

“Hold on Xiumin. Here.” Jongdae pulled Xiumin into an alley under an awning. Jongdae and Xiumin caught their breath as they shook the rain from their hair. Jongdae looked at Xiumin whose perfect hair was now dripping down into his eyes before he started laughing hysterically.

“What’s so funny!” Xiumin pouted but he also wore a smile on his face.

“Just your hair. You look so much younger with it down.” Jongdae laughed again as he brushed Xiumins bangs from his eyes. Xiumin laughed as he smiled back at Jongdae.

Before Jongdae even realized what, he was doing he felt his lips connect to Xiumins in a soft kiss.

“I-I'm sorry.” Jongdae reeled back as he realized what he had done.

Xiumin didn’t answer instead pressing his lips back onto Jongdae kissing the other more passionately than their first kiss. Jongdae didn’t resist as he let Xiumins lips slid against his.

Jongdaes hands instantly flew to Xiumins face pressing his lips harder into the other as he felt his back hit the brick wall behind him. Xiumin leaned ever deeper into Jongdae resting his hands on the others hips.

Jongdae let out a small moan when he felt Xiumins hands dig into his hip bones. Jongdae could feel Xiumins hands roaming around his hips and he gasped when he realized where he was touching pushing the other away from him quickly.

“W-what? Is something wrong Chen?” Xiumin asked confused. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” Xiumin looked down embarrassed.

“N-no. That isn’t it. I-I’m just really tired.” Jongdae bit his lip at his lie. “We should head back before it gets too late.” Jongdae looked out at the street and saw the rain had calmed down.

“Ok sure.” Xiumin looked at Jongdae worriedly but grabbed the others hand as they continued back.

The rest of the walk was finished in silence Jongdae looking everywhere but at Xiumin.

“Okay. Well I’ll see you tomorrow?” Xiumin questioned when they arrived back at their tents.

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jongdae smiled sadly at Xiumin before the other leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Jongdaes cheek running off to his own tent before he could see Jongdaes reaction.

Jongdae held his cheek where he felt Xiumins lips, his cheeks heating up instantly before he retreated to his own tent.

As Jongdae laid in bed that night but he couldn’t fall asleep his mind running a mile a minute. Jongdae ran his hand over his soulmates name, the feeling of Xiumins fingers still lingering on his skin. Jongdae couldn’t help the battle he felt inside of him. The last couple of months he had fallen head over heels for Xiumin but his mind kept tugging at the name on his hip, the whole reason he had decided to run away.

Jongdae could either ignore his feelings for Xiumin and cut things off hoping to find his soulmate one day or he could keep what he and Xiumin have right now. But what about his soulmate or Xiumins soulmate. If either of them found their soulmate later in life then that would be the end of them, the bond between soulmates was something that no relationship could overcome.

It would be better for both of them if they ended their relationship here before things got too serious and either of them got their heart broken further down the line.

Jongdae sighed heavily as he made his decision, knowing he was about to break Xiumins heart, but it was for the best in the long run.


	5. Chapter 5

Xiumin was so busy the next day with a double show that he didn’t see Chen all day long. When the show was finally over Xiumin looked everywhere for Chen, but he couldn’t find him and figured he was busy getting things cleaned up for the night.

By the time dinner had started Xiumin still wasn’t able to find Chen and he was beginning to get worried.

“Hey Kyuhyun. Have you seen Chen today?” Xiumin wandered over to the circus helpers scanning their faces for Chen.

“No sorry. I haven’t seen him for a couple of hours now. He was helping this morning but said he wasn’t feeling well so he went back to his tent. I was going to check on him after we ate.” Kyuhyun answered honestly.

“Okay. Well Ill got check on him now. See how he’s doing.” Xiumin replied before heading towards the circus helpers tents.

When Xiumin got to Chens tent he expected to see the other sleeping in his bed, but the tent was completely empty.

“Chen? Chen are you in here?” Xiumin walked inside the tent but it looked as if no one had been there all day. Chens cot was still made neatly and Xiumin noticed a small piece of paper on top of the blanket. Xiumin walked over and picked it up and realized it was a letter from Chen addressed to him.

_Dear Xiumin,_

_I knew you would be the first person to notice I was gone. I'm actually glad that you did. These last months with you have been amazing. You showed me that I could love someone else, even if I had never felt love in my life before this. That is why I had to leave. I started this journey to find my soulmate. Even though I found you, I can’t help the nagging feeling that if we were to continue our relationship somewhere down the line one of us would find our soulmate and the other would end up heartbroken. I would never want to hurt you like that, so I decided it is best to end this now, before I fall even deeper in love with you. I have decided to head home, to get a job and live a useful life for my parents, but I won’t stop thinking of you. So this is my goodbye and I hope you can accept it. Farewell my star, I love you._

_Jongdae_

Xiumin blinked rapidly as he read the final line over and over his tears falling silently on the floor. He couldn’t describe the way his heart hurt and the anger he felt at being left behind. He had never felt about anyone the way he did about Jongdae-

“Wait!” Xiumin screamed to himself.

Xiumin reread the signature at the bottom of the letter and his heart almost leaped out of his chest. Xiumin quickly ripped off the sparkly cuff he always wore around his wrist revealing the name he had hidden for so long, _Jongdae_

Xiumin almost couldn’t believe his eyes. This meant that Chen, Jongdae, was in fact his soulmate.

“Oh no.” Xiumin whispered when he realized what this meant.

Without even thinking Xiumin ran from Jongdaes tent to Siwon office.

“Siwon. I need to tell you something important.” Xiumin paused as he caught his breath.

“What is it Xiumin? What’s wrong? Have you been crying?” Siwon motioned for Xiumin to sit down but Xiumin just shook his head.

“No I’m fine but I need to ask you something. Can I take a small vacation?” Xiumin finally caught his breath as he looked at Siwon.

“Vacation? What do you mean?” Siwon was confused as the circus never had vacations.

“I mean I need a few days. There is something, someone I need to go find.” Xiumin was becoming frantic.

“Someone? What is this about? You can tell me.” Siwon was more concerned now than confused.

“Jongdae. I mean Chen. I need to go find him. He left and he misunderstood something big. I have to explain it to him. Please Siwon. For the last 6 years I have never once asked for a leave. The next city is a two-day trip anyway. I can find him and be back in a couple of days. Besides my sisters can carry the show by themselves just fine.” Xiumin was practically pleading with Siwon. The director looked at Xiumin curiously but eventually nodded his head in approval.

“Ill give you 4 days. Then you need to meet us in the next city. Got it?” Siwon tried to say sternly but he knew it didn’t come across that way.

“Thank you Siwon. Thank you so much. I'm leaving tonight so Ill tell my sisters everything. Thanks!” Xiumin didn’t even wait for an reply before he bolted from the tent in search of his sisters.

After Xiumin had explained his plan to his sisters they couldn’t push him out of their tent fast enough. Xiumin had only packed a light back and some of the money he had saved up the last couple of months.

Since Jongdae had mostly likely left almost 8 hours before he was probably already on a train back to his hometown. When Xiumin got to the train station he got the next ticket out and waited impatiently for it to arrive. Luckily where their show was located Jongdaes hometown was only a few hours train ride back.

When Xiumin finally got on the train his mind began to think of what to do next. He knew where Jongdaes home city was, he had heard him talk about it on the many nights they sat together at dinner, but he had no real address to go off of. Xiumin decided that he would figure out his plan when he arrived but until then he tried to get some sleep.

-

When Xiumin awoke a few hours later the train was just pulling into the station. It had barely stopped before Xiumin jumped off the train and onto the platform rushing out of the exit.

When Xiumin arrived it was already past midnight as he took in the empty streets before him. Xiumin decided he would have to find a place for the night and find Jongdae in the morning.

Xiumin couldn’t fall sleep that night. He tossed and turned the whole night until the sun had finally risen before he jumped out of bed to leave.

When Xiumin got to the street again it was busy with the morning work rush and Xiumin had no idea where he was supposed to go so, he just started walking. Xiumin had walked for almost half an hour when he noticed a small corner shop. It looked like a simple bakery but the name Xiumin had definitely heard before. It was a shop Jongdae had talked about during their late nights. A place he grew up going to with his friend a lot.

Xiumin decided it was a good place to start before walking into the shop which was still pretty busy with the morning rush.

“What can I get for you?” A man behind the counter called out to Xiumin.

“Actually I'm looking for someone. I thought you might be able to help me.” Xiumin bit his lip a little embarrassed to be asking.

The man looked behind Xiumin and saw the line had a small break in it.

“Sure. What can I do?”

“I'm looking for a man. His name is Jongdae. All I know is he lives around here but I have no idea where.” Xiumin spoke quickly hoping he didn’t sound too creepy.

“Jongdae? Sure I know Jongdae. He’s come here since he was a child.” Xiumins heart rate picked up when he heard the mans answer. “I'm not exactly sure where he lives but I do know he lives in the apartment buildings down the street here. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.” The man looked apologetic at Xiumin.

“No that helps a lot! Thank you so much.” Xiumin practically ran from the store when he got his answer.

Xiumin ran down the road towards the buildings the man had told him about, but his heart dropped when he saw how big the apartment building was. There were two large apartment buildings next to each other that looked exactly alike and there were at least 5 floors in each building. There was no way he would be able to go door to door to try and find Jongdae.

Xiumin sighed in defeat as he sat on the steps of the first building just waiting for a new plan to come to him.

“Dae. I can’t believe you came back here. You were actually out there doing something with your life.” Xiumins ears perked up when he heard Jongdaes name before jumping to his feet.

“I can’t explain it Lay. I just had to.” Xiumins heart tensed when he heard Jongdae voice and he raced to the alley between the apartment buildings where he heard the voices coming from.

“Jongdae.” Xiumin stared in awe as he saw Jongdae leaning against the alley wall talking to another man about their age.

Jongdae almost fell when he saw Xiumin appear freezing in his tracks.

“X-Xiumin?” Jongdae thought he was seeing things because he could not believe Xiumin was actually in front of him.

“Xiumin?” Jongdaes friend, Lay, questioned as he looked between the two of them before realization dawned on him. “Ill see you later Jongdae.” Lay patted Jongdae on the back before he walked to the front of his building nodding his head at Xiumin.

Xiumin walked towards Jongdae who was still frozen in place.

“Xiumin. Is that really you?” Jongdae almost whispered.

Xiumin didn’t answer Jongdae instead smacking the other across the face. Jongdae grabbed his cheek in shock but paused when he saw Xiumins red and teary eyes.

Jongdae instantly wrapped Xiumin in a hug while the other fought against him before finally giving in.

“Xiumin. What are you doing here?” Jongdae asked quietly after Xiumin had calmed down a bit.

“I should be asking you that.” Xiumin groaned as pushed himself away from Jongdae as he wiped his eyes.

“I'm sorry Xiumin. I really am. But I had to leave.” Jongdae tried to justify his actions but now that he was faced to face with Xiumin all of his excuses fell short.

“So you leave me a letter? That’s all I get?” Xiumin asked disappointedly.

“Because I knew if I said it to your face, I would see how much I was hurting you and I wouldn’t be able to stand that.” Jongdae bit his lip as he saw the pain on Xiumins face. “Please Xiumin. Don’t be angry with me for that. I know it was wrong, I shouldn’t have left like that.” Jongdae felt his heart tense.

“I'm not angry about the letter. I'm angry because you’re wrong.” Xiumin looked Jongdae in the eye.

“What? What do you mean wrong?” Jongdae was confused.

“I mean you were wrong. You left because you wanted to find your soulmate, but you already have.” Xiumin finished before he reached down and took off one of his wrist cuffs revealing his soulmates name before putting it in front of Jongdaes face.

Jongdae looked confusingly at Xiumins wrist before his eyes widened in realization.

“W-what?” Jongdae whispered as he read his name on Xiumins wrist.

“You are my soulmate Jongdae.” Xiumin declared.

“But your name isn’t my soulmates name.” Jongdae asked even more confused now.

“That’s because Xiumin isn’t my real name. My real name is Minseok.” Minseok looked at Jongdae to see if he understood.

“What? Your name is actually Minseok? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jongdae was still confused.

“Well you never told me your name was Jongdae!” Xiumin fired back before laughing. “Xiumin is my stage name but it stuck even off the stage, so I just kept it. Why did you change your name!” Xiumin questioned.

“I needed a new start. A new name.” Jongdae answered as he still tried to process everything.

“Jongdae. Do you understand what I'm saying? We are soulmates.” Xiumin tired to state it as plainly as he could.

Jongdae didn’t even reply instead pulling Minseok towards him connecting their lips in a deep kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight warning that the beginning of this chapter is just smut. If you would like to skip that part skip down to the first break about halfway through.

Jongdae pulled Minseok up the fire escape stairs behind his apartment building his mind still running a mile a minute comprehending everything he had learned in the last ten minutes.

“Jongdae. Where are we going?” Minseok questioned as they continued to climb higher.

“Here.” Jongdae smiled mysteriously as he crept into his bedroom window pulling Minseok in after him. Before Minseok could ask his next question Jongdae crashed his lips against the others feeling the way their lips melted together in perfect harmony.

“Jongdae-“ Minseoks question was cut short as Jongdaes lips met his again. Jongdae pushed Minseok backwards until the others legs hit the side of his bed before pushing him down onto the mattress.

Minseoks hand grabbed Jongdaes waist slowly pulling the others shirt up before touching the skin underneath.

“W-wait.” Jongdae paused as he pulled away from Minseok.

“What? Is something wrong?” Minseok sat up concerned.

“No. Its just. My name.” Jongdae blushed as he put a hand over his hip.

“Let me see.” Minseok grabbed Jongdaes hand removing it from his hip and lifting his shirt revealing Minseoks name across his hipbone. Minseoks fingers ghosted over the letters spelling his name before looking up at Jongdae.

“You don’t need to hide it. I won’t hide mine anymore.” Xiumin looked down at his wrist with Jongdaes name staring back at them.

Jongdae blushed harder before Minseoks hand reached behind his neck and pulled him back down into a kiss.

Minseok wasted no more time stripping Jongdae shirt off of him before taking off his own and reconnecting their lips.

Jongdaes hands roamed over Minseoks toned chest and abs, the years of acrobatics hardening all the muscles in his body.

Minseok moaned as Jongdaes hands rested on his hips inching towards his pants.

Jongdae started kissing down Minseoks necks sucking softly on the skin as Minseok let out a moan. Jongdae continued to kiss his way down Minseoks chest and stomach before stopping at his belly button.

Jongdae pulled down Minseoks pants revealing the others already hard and leaking cock. Minseok let out a gasp at the cold air hitting his hot member.

Jongdae wasted no time as he kissed down Minseoks hips to his thighs spreading the others legs further apart.

“Is this okay?” Jongdae looked up at Minseok who stared back with half lidded eyes and flushed cheeks.

“Y-yes. M-more Jongdae.” Minseok moaned as he thrusted his hips into the air trying to get some kind of friction on his cock.

Jongdae chucked before he lifted Minseoks thighs into the air and sucking on the soft skin hard enough to leave multiple red marks.

Jongdae saw how flushed Minseoks body was, moaning at his every touch. Jongdae stuck his fingers in his mouth sucking on them sensually before moving them to Minseoks entrance.

Jongdae circle his finger around Minseoks entrance before slowly pushing a single digit inside as Minseok threw his head back with a moan.

Jongdae crawled back up to Minseok swallowing the others moans in a kiss as he continued to move his digit.

Soon Jongdae added a second finger feeling Minseok tense around him as he continued to kiss him to relax him.

“J-Jongdae. M-more.” Minseok whispered as he began to move on Jongdaes finger by himself.

Jongdae quickly complied adding a third finger as he sucked on Minseoks neck moving his fingers slowly.

“Jongdae. Wait.” Minseok put a hand on Jongdaes chest to pause him. Jongdae sat back confused before Minseok sat up and crawled on top of Jongdae.

Minseok quickly went to Jongdaes pants and undid them releasing Jongdaes own hard member. Before Jongdae could say anything Minseok leaned down licked the tip of Jongdaes cock making Jongdae gasp.

Minseok chuckled before slowly sliding his mouth down Jongdaes cock. Minseok sucked harder bobbing his head up and down as Jongdae threaded his hand through his hair.

“Fuck Minseok.” Jongdae moaned as he began thrusting softly into Minseoks mouth.

“Wait.” Jongdae pulled Minseok off of him his lips making a popping noise as he released Jongdaes cock.

“Come here.” Jongdae pulled Minseok onto his lap, Minseok blushing as he straddled Jongdae.

Jongdae reached up for Minseoks neck pulling him down into a kiss. Minseok moaned into the kiss before he reached behind himself and aligned Jongdaes cock at his entrance.

Jongdae gasped into the kiss when he felt Minseok lower himself onto his cock feeling the heat of Minseok surround him.

Minseok moaned as he seethed Jongdae completely inside of him throwing his head back in pleasure.

“J-Jongdae. Move please.” Minseok begged as he leaned forward connecting his lips with Jongdaes again.

Jongdae grabbed Minseoks hips and slowly began pumping inside of Minseok feeling the tightness slide around him.

Minseok moaned with each thrust feeling completely engulfed in Jongdae that his mind was going hazy.

Jongdae sped up his thrusts chasing the tension he felt building in his stomach as he reached down to grab Minseoks cock that bounced between them.

“Jongdae. I-I’m going to come.” Minseok moaned has he bounced harder on Jongdaes cock chasing his own orgasm.

“Me too. Come here.” Minseok leaned down and kissed Jongdae forcefully before he felt Jongdae come deep inside of him moaning into their kiss as Minseok came across their chests.

Jongdaes thrusts slowed down as he felt them come down from their highs before Minseok collapsed on top of him.

Jongdae ran his hand through Minseok hair before kissing his forehead lovingly.

“Are you okay? Jongdae whispered as he felt Minseoks breathing even out.

“Mmm.” Minseok hummed before snuggling closer to Jongdaes chest.

Jongdae chuckled before he pulled out of the other and put a blanket over top of them as they both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

\---

When Minseok awoke the next morning he forgot where he was for a minute until he felt a pair of arms wrapped around him and heard Jongdaes soft breathing in his ear.

“Jongdae.” Minseok whispered as he turned around in the other arms.

Jongdaes eyes blinked open and when he saw Minseok he smiled at the other before kissing his forehead.

“Morning.” Jongdae hummed as he snuggled closer to Minseok.

“Good morning.” Minseok giggled before he sat up.

Jongdae and Minseok spent the rest of the morning just laying in each other’s arms talking about random things until it was almost noon.

“Dae. We need to talk about what we are doing next.” Minseok grew serious.

“Next? What do you mean?” Jongdae asked confused.

“I mean what are you going to do. I have to go back to the circus soon. I was only given a few days off. I can’t stay here forever.” Minseok broke the news to Jongdae.

“Oh.” Jongdae looked down at his lap. “I don’t know. I didn’t think about going back to the circus.” Jongdae bite his lip nervously.

“You need to come back Jongdae. Everyone has to be missing you now and I know you enjoyed it.” Minseok grabbed Jongdaes hand. “Think about it. What more could you want? You get to travel all year, you have great friends your working with, a job that you seem to enjoy. And me.” Minseok blushed at the last part but Jongdae just smiled at him.

“Yes. I’ll have you. Ok, Ill go back.” Jongdae agreed as he leaned over and kissed Minseok softly on his lips.

-

Jongdae ran his hands through Minseoks hair as the other slept quietly on his lap as they rode the train to catch up with the circus. Jongdae smiled as he looked at Minseoks sleeping face laughing to himself at how he had spent the last months with his soulmate and didn’t even know it.

Jongdae looked out the window at the fields they were passing, and he couldn’t help the smile that came onto his face.

When they had arrived at the station Jongdae gently shook Minseok awake as the other groaned in protest.

“Minnie. We’re here.” Minseok reluctantly sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he looked out the window.

“Let’s go home Minseok.” Jongdae smiled as he grabbed the others hand kissing it softly.

“Yeah. Home.” Minseok smiled before they walked off the train.


End file.
